On Exhaustion

Ok I have to admit it- I am exhausted. I am not even done w/ gradschool let alone actively practicing in the field of psych and already I'm facing burnout. This is when I realized it:

I was sitting today at one of my two jobs talking to a friend online who said they had had a day to do laundry and dishes and all of those things (that is what they would do during a weekday lately or something). I immediately thought- How wonderful would that be!? Picturing the stack of dirty dishes in my sink and my hamper towering over with dirty laundry that I just DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO. That is so frustrating!

So it has been a year since I have been living on my own, working two jobs, taking a full course load of classes, managing a relationship, taking care of a puppy nacio (y manoso tambien), trying to practice and drill my spanish, write a thesis, keep painting paintings, run every day, and manage my tiny paycheck to paycheck budget against my hugely inflated bills. That is just the logistic stress- there is also emotional stress. Stress of studying psychology and working with clinical populations, stress of living alone and lonliness, relationship drama, family issues, coping with my own traumatic experiences, and so on it goes.

Needless to say, I am exhausted; mentally and physically. It was a sign to me when I started having nightmares or when I couldn't find one sock (with plenty more availible) and started to cry. I am at overload. You know, the good advice from here too is just a list of more things TO DO which I do NOT have any time for. AT ALL.

Don't get me wrong, I realize everybody is busy, but I also realize this: I am not superman and I am getting TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Breif thoughts on corporate America

Several things annoy me about corporate America. By corporate America I mean white- collar jobs that require computers (usually) and cubicles (more often than not) and monkey suits (always). Today what I don't like is the "work". Ever feel like you are busy doing things all day but get nothing useful done? Today I am working on a revamp of a corporate system by switching subgroups members belong to into fewer, larger groups. WHAT A WASTE OF MY TIME. I could be doing something useful like working on my research, but nope, gotta pay the rent. I have to ask the hackneyed question-what happened? How did we get this way? Somehow someone decided that this needs to be done: paperwork NEEDS to happen, filing NEEDS to happen, data entry and other gopher work NEEDS to happen. More on this later- I have to get back to my "work."